


the one where sam feels guilty

by samboy (sidekicks)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 03:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15921776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidekicks/pseuds/samboy
Summary: Sam knows how it's going to end.





	the one where sam feels guilty

**Author's Note:**

> Written during season 5, when I loved Supernatural more than anything and they still could have ended it at the proper ending point.
> 
> Oh well, here's this shitty drabble.

There's only enveloping darkness here and the microwave blinks  _end end end -_ blinding red glow of the inevitable and it's all Sam's fault.  _all my fault all my fault._ Sleep is too far away; He ran out of sand miles ago, somewhere in Nebraska or maybe Idaho, and everything he knows is days behind him, rotting on some blacktop or in a dingy, dying cafe on I-90. Somewhere Sam doesn't dare look back on. Somewhere with a hunt, a bottle of Jack and a wildly stupid mistake.  _I'm so sorry._ Someday he'll remember the name of the motel or the smell of the diner or the feel of the Minnesota wind in storm season.

But not now. Now is for the darkness and _the end_  and the sound of Dean's snores muffled against starched pillows.  _Fucking smells like dope and Jose._  Now is for red-rimmed eyes and  _don't you fucking do it, Sam. Not here, not now or ever. You're wrong. Just… go away._

It's the  _end_ and it has been for weeks, but it never really comes. Just the waiting and the arguments and the hunts, moving in time like the old days when it had been all about the yellow-eyed demon. When it had been all about finding dad; when it was about Jess and  _mom_  and retribution and revenge. But it's not. It's the  _end_  and they're waiting.

The air is dead and quiet, except for a huff and a groan and restless-ness. "I can hear you thinking from here." There aren't any words for now, because they were lost, too. Somewhere with the hunt or maybe strewn in the wind like dust on the highway. "Sam." Another huff and groan and feet scrubbed on worn out carpet. A dip and a push, arms wrapped in arms and kisses on hair. "Sam, I-"

It's the  _end_ but they're alive with mistakes and a hunt and a bottle of Jack hidden under dirty laundry and Dean's favorite gun.  _I'm sorry_.


End file.
